He’s back. So am I. Unlike this computer, which is giving a very good impression of Him Indoors after exercise. F***ed. Technology? Pah?
He’s all relaxed and luvvy dovey. “Come here, let me stroke you. Do you want a treat.” I’m being very superior. Very: “up yours”. Very: “you left me, you bastard, don’t expect me to be your welcoming committee”.
My lovely pal Rachel – now forever known as Auntie Rachel – walked me over the bridge and I thought hey ho, I wonder if she has had enough of me and is going to abandon me in Pump Court whilst claiming “he ran away”. But no, Him Indoors had returned and was waiting for the great welcome.
I must tell you, Auntie Rachel was great. Also, her daughter Maddie (+boyfriend) and son Joe. They treated me in the manner to which a top notch handsome Springer expects. Loads of treats. They never left me! And they sang to me, which Him Indoors never does because his singing voice is quite terrible.
I gave him a couple of circuits of the living-room, then demanded a ball (took him a while to understand what I wanted). Then, another couple of circuits concluded with a jump on to settee between them, but ensuring my backside was towards him in order to be certain that I gave a bloody great smelly blast towards him in order to ensure he knew that I was not impressed about being left.
His first day back has been fun as I played dumb about loving him. I finally succumbed this evening (no food for 24 hours weakens one’s resolve when the chicken really did look attractive mixed into my bowl). I do love him and so I’ve made sure I was pretty close to him all afternoon and evening.
Naturally he has been chattering away all day to me about his holiday. He thoroughly enjoyed it, so he tells me. He talked a lot about the nice people he had met, especially a couple who had been married 58 years! Isn’t that fantastic? 58 years. Wow! Mary was wheel-chair bound but The Boss tells me her “dry” sense was hysterically funny to say nothing of her bravery in coping. It appears her husband John (apparently he looks good for his age, which made the Boss very envious) had even more stories of life than Him Indoors – which I can tell you is some achievement!
It seems his mate Jenny, his travel companion, liked to sleep in a total black-out. Now, as I allow Him Indoors to share my bedroom with me, I can tell you he sleeps with radio on, curtains open, bedside lights often on and as far removed from “black-out” as you could get. I bet that was amusing, the “negotiation” of reality.
Plus – he snores. Now, I can tell you there is snoring, there is snoring that can be medically treated, and then – there is Him Indoors. Especially after a bottle of red and “several” Irish whiskies!
It seems the afore-mentioned Jenny achieved not a moment of sleep for two nights despite the total blackness and the spaciousness of the suite.
Then- relief! Along with John & Mary, they dined with two splendidly amusing sisters Sarah and Nicki. Nicki kindly gave Jenny wax ear-plugs which proved to be her salvation.
The Boss is an “intermittent” sleeper, I can testify, and regularly we are drinking tea and watching tv at 3.00 or 4.00 in the morning here in Pump Court. Anyway, it seems “the Jenny black-out” resulted in him walking the Queen Victoria at 4.00a.m one night. Apparently nobody else about, which must be some sort of claim to fame.
Amusingly, he also mentioned (a) he fell out of bed one night but managed to miss the bed-side cabinet without getting concussion and (b) he sustained injuries to both shins walking into beds in the black-out. I gathered he banged his head several times on the wall as well! Fairly obviously, I observed a single bed life is not for him but he made no comment!
He has returned in full relaxed form and I am anticipating a burst of energy that may just wear me out. On the other hand, he may revert to type and assume he is lay on the deck of the QV and expect “room service”.
He has however retained an interest in the political situation specifically to keep me informed. He watched the news tonight, tapped in his phone and then said about Corbyn “the ultimate lying politician in every way possible. Two-faced, arrogant in that ‘I’m always right’ socialist superior way and lives in a cuckoo world of unreality”.
I’m not sure I should be telling the world! It may offend some of his socialist friends, but there we are.
Finally, on the football front, he was back home in time for his United yesterday. It seems he has lots of friends who are “baggies” fans (who are Baggies?). They’ve been in touch, I have gathered.
As a simple messenger, I can only tell you (a) he was very, very shouty at the tv yesterday (b) he referred to the players regularly as “over-paid arrogant complacent twats who have won f*** all” and “ I think Jose is a twat but this lot are disrespecting the shirt”.
God knows what he would be saying if they were bottom of the league. Which, apparently, the Baggie actually are!!!
Woof! Woof!
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