It’s easy to forget just what a lucky old chap I am. Him Indoors, much as I moan, actually treats me very well. I could suggest I need a little more exercise (I really do like strolling along the river) but I understand if he has things to do and people to meet which mean we run out of time for an extended stroll.
But I am in trouble! At long last he seems to have decided he ought to lose some weight. Now I know he’s quite serious about this for the first time in god knows how long. You ask how can I know? Simple. I am being deprived of his cast-off’s and left-overs. There haven’t been any!
Even worse, he told me that he has written to his nutritional therapist friend and made an appointment. Listen folks, this is big trouble. Last time he did this he became a trifle obsessional about it all. And I just know I will be the one to suffer. Firstly, he will turn into a misery because of his sugar loss. I can live withis to a degree because I simply ignore his rants & general grumpiness. The rest of the world will have to deal with that, not me.
No, my deepest concern is that all my little tit-bits will disappear, all those nice plates to lick will be full of weird tastes from obscure, healthy foods that do nothing for me. I AM in trouble. The middle of the night cup of tea that always brings me biscuits will cease. It will all be nuts and grapes! With definitely no crisps.
The Boss is very busy as well. Building up to the Festival I gather. He’s not left the computer for about three days, my walks have disappeared and he keeps on wittering about “ticket sales could be better”.
He asked me to broadcast in my “newsy thingy” (his words) to let folks know there are still tickets and if they were any sort of friends they would be buying lots of them. Personally I think that is over-stepping the mark but you know he can get a bit over-wrought as time gets closer!
The good thing is his football mood has improved. Apparently United are not “a bunch of over-paid one-footed tossers” but “showing signs of having some bollocks” whatever that means.
He has been playing The Maestro constantly because it would appear there is another Bootleg Series Boxset due. Initially, he was not happy because he thought it was going to be overly expensive but I’m told it is reasonable (whatever that means). I must say he’s been playing the odd bit of recent concerts, which are indeed seriously good!
Our little town seems to reverting to quietness now the school holidays have finished. The tourist level is much reduced, but it does mean the level of amusement down here on the pavement is greatly reduced. I simply have too many stories to relate of our Black Country friends being amusing down by the river. Never mind what their dogs get up to!
Meanwhile the legendary Mr Bridges treated us both to lunch. He was still, slightly, the worse for wear after a family wedding. I’m not sure Him Indoors would be brave enough, when confronted by an attractive woman to be asked “why are you talking to me”, would say “because you’re very nice”. At which point, taking notice of the lady’s look, you follow up with “you don’t want to talk to me do you, so I’ll fuck off then”. Funny, funny! It seems the family wedding was jolly good fun.
Concluding, I shall be taking a close look at tv these next two weeks. The political party conferences should be full of good copy for an old dog!
Woof! Woof!
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