I’ve kept quiet until now, kept my counsel. I’ve not got involved with anybody, Him Indoors, his mates, my mates, strangers in the night, nobody. Today though I’m going to speak about Brexit. Because it seems we are on the way. Or are we? Ok, don’t delete me straightaway, give me a chance.
Let’s start at the top. From my pavement it seems to me that our cuddly Prime Minister missed a trick. Well, at least, her useless predecessor who caused all this chaos did. Why didn’t he stand outside his front door that morning in June (he seemed to like standing there, pontificating, about something or other – didn’t he stand there with Mr Clegg before) and face the music?
What stopped him saying, in obviously more polite English :
“I’ve fucked up and you lot have caught me with my pants down without Samantha anywhere to be seen. As a result, my country is knee deep in the brown stuff and I haven’t a fucking clue what to do. Therefore, I’ve called them all in – the Scottish witch Sturgeon, the Welsh bloke who is so insignificant I can’t remember his name, some tossers from Belfast and bloody Corbyn, who is utterly useless trying to be the Marxist leader therefore it will give him a chance to get involved in how the real world operates. We’re going to have a Brexit Cabinet of Unity and hey ho, off we go”
Tell me, how would that have been bad news?
Oh sorry, I forgot the irrelevant LibDems were led by some born again Christian (apparently like the father of Him Indoors who was also a born again supporter) called Farron who appears to have been wittering on about second referendums ever since to no purpose. Obviously those LibDems needed to be involved because of their importance to democracy. Not.
But no. Cameron runs away from taking responsibility as fast as he can go, lurching towards the usual promised weekend Cotswolds shag with Samantha.
The Blessed Theresa gets the poisoned chalice and then repeats the mistake. Even worse, she appoints The Three Wise Turkeys who want to vote for Christmas. Davis, Fox, Johnson. If ever I’ve heard of a predictably failing name for a business that is it. DFJ…Hello! Hello! Ever heard of making the opposition struggle with creative titles? Let’s face it, this opposition is even worse than the Government so come up with something sexy. Jeez, if I can see it from my pavement……DFJ? Donkey Fucked by Jonah. At best!
Davis? I played ball the other weekend with 7 yr old Katherine, she knew more about negotiation and “knowing the brief” than he apparently does.
Fox? Him Indoors tells me that it is a classic public sector (or union) job – it doesn’t actually exist! But you get paid lots and receive a fantastic, inflation-proofed pension for achieving precisely nothing.
Johnson? Diplomacy. Doomed as our man is as diplomatically skilled as Jose Mourinho when he meets Pep Guardiola. For confirmation see Iran!!!!!
This week the Blessed apparently, it is claimed, pulled the fat out of the fire. Then Him Indoors really started.
Rant? Rant? I was glad of the snow and ice because my lovely, beautiful friend Sarah took me out every day (sometimes with her lovely labrador, Lily) because Himself was in grave danger of ending upon his backside whenever I gave a pull on my lead.
Himself has had dealings with the EU in his past career. He is not complimentary. Crooks, thieves, liars, corrupt, incompetent, no audited accounts, hate the British are just some of his comments. He always adds “if the government did not understand how the EU would act, then they have learnt nothing from the last 40plus years”.
So here we are, I’m starting to get a bit interested in it all and then……this bloke Starmer starts talking in riddles. Apparently he believes (this is, so I understand) typical Socialist rubbish that you can have everything by saying nothing and promising everything to everybody whilst meaning nothing. He actually believes the EU would like to help us. This is as great a fiction as McDonnel’s belief that we can borrow £250bilion and it will cost nothing.
This morning I asked the bank to lend me £1,000 in order that I could invest it in Jamesons and I guaranteed to them I could make it back at a profit (Jamesons currently being on offer everywhere , like Britain). They told me to fuck off!
I’m sure I have more to contribute to this great debate but let’s leave that for another day. I leave you with this thought for Chairman Corbyn – how can we be leaving the EU if we remain in the single market (god bless Mr Starmer), arguably the biggest closed anti-free trade market in the western world, so closed it makes Trump’s arguments appear incredibly open?
Woof! Woof!
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