Into our second full week of social distancing here in Rumpy Pumpy and I must say the lack of excitement is beginning to strike home to me. Its all very well, this quiet life, but I do reckon this is rather taking things to the extreme. The Boss tells me this morning, as if to depress me totally is fun, that we are going into lockdown today after Basher Boris took to the stage last night.
I find it difficult to understand that Basher is actually our leader. Its not that I blame him for all recent events – indeed I don’t, I wouldn’t want to be Head Dog dealing with this lot – but he’s never really struck me as a leader. More an opportunist. In which case, his judgement was lacking last year!
When I glimpsed the news over the weekend and saw all those morons heading to the coast and the hills, I knew it would cause trouble. After all thought I, sat in the confines of Rumpy Pumpy, how come we – and all our friends – are doing the right thing as requested whilst those folks were ignoring them all. Have they not read anything about this virus? Are they all immune in some way, in which case can Him Indoors and me have some of it please?
We had a nice surprise on Saturday when two of our favourite people called after being out solitary walking. John and Sarah brought beer for Him Indoors, but he became Him Outdoors because they sat in the courtyard some way apart (what IS that all about if I can sit right by him with my head on his lap?) and basically put the world right for an hour. As far as I was concerned, it all felt like the return to normality except……it was freezing cold!!! The Boss had put about four layers of jumpers on himself but what about me? I’m getting on in years and my coat is thinning, so although I was really pleased to see our visitors I was also pleased to go inside to the warm after an hour. I’m not really a misery but, well you know!
Of course, we now know that we’re being put into some form of lockdown at home. I do have a big concern! Him Indoors can be a lazy so and so. It is fair to comment (don’t tell him though) that he can hardly be considered an enthusiastic exercise supporter. He could use this “lockdown” as an excuse to tell me that he’s sorry but I’m not allowed to take you out. You may not believe the Settee Sports Champion could be so horrible to me but don’t you believe it.
I have though seen signs of encouragement. As Basher Boris was speaking The Boss whispered quietly in my ear “if there is nobody allowed out, and we have to stay in the house, perhaps we can go out for a walk and I can stay in my pj’s”. I’m not sure the world is quite ready for that, but there we are, I have to look on the bright side.
My other worry today, is a general question to all my readers. Does nobody understand how much 2 metres is? How come people stand in a queue but won’t stand 2 metre behind you? How hard is this, I ask in my simple doggy way! MOVE BACK!! GIVE THE OLD BOY SOME SPACE!! I have been very tempted to deliver a firm bite to the ankles of some of these people but thought better of it.
We’re off to watch some more TV now. Him Indoors is catching up on all the programmes he hasn’t watched yet, which keeps him quiet. Something tells me however, that catching up on 8 series of “Nurse Jackie” is excessive! A final thought: I’ve not seen much sign of him practising his cooking, so I hope that when this lockdown is all over he doesn’t poison all his dining guests.
Stay safe, stay warm, stay at home!! God bless!
Woof! Woof!
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