What a two weeks I’ve had! I’ve felt like The Man in The Moon, I’ve been on my own so much whilst Himself has been off playing the Leader of the Gang at the Bewdley Festival. He’s been gone in the morning, gone in the afternoon, gone in the evening. He thinks leaving me some treats on the settee – and “lovingly” giving me a Dentistix as he leaves at 6.30 in the evening – keeps me happy and contented. Well, I tell you it bloody well doesn’t!!
I have been so bored and SO LONELY. I’m used to us doing everything together but suddenly, once a year, all the rules change and I am left to fend for myself. He even has all his mates roped in to help, so I can’t rely on my favourite girls to call in and comfort me. My walks become incredibly brief, and all the cuddles late in the evening on his return are poor consolation.
This was after we had such a good time when our Australian friends arrived to attend the opening night at Festival. We had two great evenings with them, I was so spoilt I was in a doggy heaven (if I was a dog). Lots of titbits from the table, lots of chasing a ball around the house, it was so good. But they went home after the first night and I was left to become a Lonely Heart for a week.
However, there is a little bit I like. He never has time to cook anything, so when he comes back he has often bought some takeaway food! Or he heats some crap ready-meal. Which he loathes really, so I always do well out of this in terms of my tummy. Thank goodness, because the rest of it all makes me a very unhappy bunny. And I can play the sad dog to perfection, believe me.
So, one night we had fish & chips (this is absolutely my favourite), another cheeseburger & chips (good chips), another pizza (bad for my tummy AND my wind!), couple of curry’s (love the rice, Him Indoors simply refuses to risk my bottom with the curry), and a couple of shepherds pies (love the gravy he makes) and which he lets me lick the tray it comes in.
I should defend him in one way. He came back pretty happy every evening. He tells me the Festival has received lots of praise from people, so it probably can be considered a success. It would appear all the “headline” artists were good, he even had his picture taken with some of them (this can be considered a rarity and the artists concerned should consider themselves VERY privileged indeed, let me tell them) because he is not a fan of photos of himself. He seems to think taking photos of his handsome pal Yours Truly is sufficient for the outside world.
At least all this work meant he slept better. If he wakes me up once in a night, it is five times. Are toilet breaks the exclusive privilege of the elderly? Do all blokes keep disturbing everybody in the night? I only ask out of interest because His Majesty is a bloody expert at it!
I suppose the biggest benefit of all was that he has had no opportunity to keep abreast of the news. Brexit has wended its way towards some sort of conclusion but Him Indoors has not had chance to shout at the TV very much. I consider this a major bonus because it regularly disturbs my sleep, his choice of words when addressing Politics Live.
Likewise, it does seem he has given up on football. I have reported previously his utter despair at his beloved United, but this little break, with no time to study newspapers, seems to have calmed him down. I was sat with him as Juventus – apparently a rather good Italian mob although no doubt funded by the mafia – gave them a thrashing this week but he simply sat and admired the Italians rather than telling Mr Lukaku he was “a fat, overweight, immoveable with no football brain” chap and Mr Pogba “a poster boy for averageness not fit to walk the pitch of Roy Keane” which are his normal comments. He is not happy about all this and I cannot repeat views about the owners, apparently an American family of illegitimate birth and sexual deviants specializing in robbery.
This week we have been back to near normal. He is still very happy about Festival, although he tells me he wished more tickets had been sold. In his next breath he starts talking about next year and his plans about how he would like Festival to develop. It all sounds very good but I do worry that perhaps I may be left alone even more in the future if it all happens. I wouldn’t like that, I’m a sociable sort of chap and I like going to the pub and meeting my friends.
I’ll keep you posted, but please don’t forget to tell all your friends to join my little blog and the “My Dylan Dog” Facebook page.
Woof! Woof!
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